


a short conversation

by chestnut_panta



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Possibly Unrequited Love, i project my problems onto nagito, nagito deserves all of the love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24617674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chestnut_panta/pseuds/chestnut_panta
Summary: [story cw: references to self harm, self harm scars.]komaeda was... weird. he only talks about “hope,” seems entirely unaffected by the thought of death, and tends to stay away from every else. but he’s still human. someone had to make sure he was okay.
Comments: 31
Kudos: 63





	1. while alone, to spend your time thinking only of others

**Author's Note:**

> hi!! i just wanted to do some pov komaeda shit and then i had an idea and i was like,,, a,,, so now this is here  
> i was going to put this in game but boy really is out of his head or tied up 80% of the time huh.... so.... island mode  
> i love this boy so much yall dont even know,,, anyway i promise the other chapters will be nice i just needed to do a setup thing blargh  
> also ko has a crush on hajime but like,, u knew. we been knew.

nagito lay on his bed, trying to sleep. “nighttime” had started a while ago, so everyone else was probably asleep by now. the only light was from outside, the moon and fluorescent light streaming through the window, partially lighting the perfectly, perhaps overly clean room. he almost wished there was more stuff in here, so he had an excuse to clean it. cleaning was such a basic thing, it was one of the only things he’d admit to himself he was good at. cleaning is an easy thing to have control over, when your life can be ruined in a couple of hours by something entirely out of your control. he’d also grabbed a multi-tool from the store a while ago. luck-free pain, “just in case,” although just in case seemed to be getting more frequent. if this happened every time hinata looked at him weird... hah. he moved his hand over to the table near his bed, grabbing the multi tool that was still sitting there with the blade out. he held it above him, watching the moonlight glint off the blade as he turned it. how long ago was it? three hours?.. no, he might have to bother someone with talent, to help trash like him... but there's a chance they wouldn't even help him.

he flipped the blade back into the tool and placed it back on his table. it was better this way, really. anyone who got close to him eventually got hurt, and he'd never forgive himself if he let that happen to a super high school level. especially hinata. there was something about him... since he couldn't remember his talent, talking to him felt easier, but at the same time, imagining he could have any talent..? all talents were equal, of course, because it wasn't about the talent itself, but the hope it carries... nagito eventually began to feel tired. it was... strange. he thought about people with talent more as... symbols of hope, than people, but there was something different about hinata. well, he’d probably see him tomorrow... no, definitely. something incredible would have to happen for something that awful...

would nagito’s death even be that unlucky anymore? surely everyone around him wanted that... but his death needed to lead to as much hope as possible, to make up for how much pain he caused. hinata... there was some selfish part of him that wanted to see him for as long as he could, even just one more day. some selfish part of him... but all of him was selfish. awful, boring, selfish, unloveable, garbage. garbage. garbage. that was one of the things he did that seemed to annoy hinata the most. maybe annoy isn’t the right word... whenever nagito called himself trash, there was something in hinata’s eyes, a mix between concern, and regret for starting the conversation in the first place. awful. he was probably regretting talking to him anyway, since he had nothing interesting to say. boring. but feeling this way, thinking about him, all of this could be putting hinata in danger. selfish. sometimes he just thought about how much it would hurt to hear him say “i don’t love you.” unlovable. after all, nobody could love garbage like him. not his parents, not his classmates, and certainly not hinata.

hajime hinata, super high school level... maybe it was as simple as an unfinished verse getting stuck in his head.  
hinata-kun; wonderful, interesting, kind, loveable... hinata-kun.


	2. with mioda, to keep me out of my own head for a while

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “hey hey hey hey hey! stop that! you’re not garbage, you’re ibuki’s friend!”  
> “...friend?”  
> “friend!“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gay yearning... also writing ibuki is so difficult but i love it,,, written version of going absolutely feral, it’s great i love her

nagito sat at the table, idly eating his breakfast, more focused on looking at the boy sitting across the table and a few seats away from him. hinata... he was so handsome, amazing, and perfect. if he focused enough he could tune out everyone else, and just listen to hinata’s voice... but if he did that for too long, someone might notice. especially if his mind began to wander... so he looked around to everyone else at the table. the one sitting closest to him was mioda, who seemed nervous in some capacity. she kept looking over at nagito, and looking away when she saw he was looking at her. noticing this, he went back to eating his food. after a couple seconds, a piece of paper slid towards him. picking it up, it was a note that read “meet me at titty typhoon after breakfast!!” written with a blue glitter gel pen. ah... perhaps mioda was planning to kill him? he looked around to see if anyone noticed, and continued eating as he put the note in his pocket. if she was planning to do something, she could stand to look less suspicious. eventually, breakfast finished. he wasn’t sure how long it was, because it was hard to keep track of time when you were spending it all staring at someone. mioda finished eating about 5 minutes before everyone else and practically ran out of the hotel. after most people had left (or more accurately, after hinata had left,) nagito got up and left the hotel, and headed for the 3rd island.

as he walked into the music venue, it appeared to be empty.  
“mioda-san? are you here?” nagito heard something from backstage, like stuff falling over.  
“yes!! one second!!!” mioda called out from backstage. after some noise, she walked out on stage, dragging a speaker for an electric guitar behind her. “nagito-chan! hi!” she let go of the speaker and ran down the steps at the side of the stage, walking up to nagito.  
“hello, mioda-san. i’d like you to know that i will agree to do whatever you need of me..”  
“...huh?”  
“you... slipped me an unsigned note asking me to arrive at a secluded area, so i had assumed you were going to kill me.” nagito thought this was the only logical conclusion, but mioda looked like the thought hadn’t even crossed her mind.  
“...huh??? what??? of course not! ibuki was going to host a private concert for you!”  
“what do you mean?”  
“well, i noticed you don’t like lots of loud noises and you didn’t seem to be into my big concerts... so i wanted to give you a chance to enjoy my music! ibuki wants to share her music with everyone, even if they’re super creepy weirdos!” ibuki smiled. it wasn’t a smile of someone looking down on him, but one of someone talking to a classmate... a friend. more than he deserved. 

“now c’mon! you can’t jump around on stage wearing a massive jacket! i’ve fallen over... a lot, because i sew my own outfits!”  
“ah, wait-“ before nagito could object, mioda had moved behind him and grabbed his jacket.  
“*teleports behind you* zzwoop!” she pulled the jacket off of him and threw it onto one of the chairs near the bar. nagito grabbed his left arm, as his jacket being pulled off that fast from that angle agitated the scars somewhat... “10 points! haha- hah? you okay, dude?” ibuki grabbed nagito’s hand and suddenly pulled it toward her, causing him to stumble. “hm... stay right there for 18 seconds!” she ran off, heading up the stage and behind the curtain. she didn’t ask about the scars... “i’m back!” mioda quickly came back through the curtain, carrying some medical supplies. well, medical supplies was maybe too much. it was a couple boxes of kids patterned bandaids, a plastic bottle of water and some cotton balls. she sat down cross legged on the floor, clearly waiting for nagito to do the same. he slowly sat down in front of her. “i’m not the most qualified for this... well, duh, but i’ve hurt myself a lot, so...” 

ibuki opened the water bottle and poured some water onto a cotton ball and started rubbing it on nagito’s arm.  
“i have no idea how necessary this is but i do it every time, just in case...” he winced at the slight stinging of it. “i dunno what happened but it must have been super embarrassing if you didn’t want anyone to see it, so ibuki will tell you about times she’s hurt herself instead!” the actual reason was that mikan would instantly be able to tell what caused the scars... “i’ve scraped my knees a bunch doing knee slides on stage... once i cut my tongue with my own mouth piercing, that was funny.” she smiled a bit as she turned around to throw the dirty cotton ball in the bin... in the direction of the bin, at least. “6 points!” mioda... she talked so much that nagito didn’t really have time to think. which he appreciated, in some ways. she grabbed the boxes of bandaids, one in each hand, and shook them. “which ones do you want?“  
“ah, it doesn’t matter.”  
“...i’ll use half of each!” she then proceeded to do just that, placing an assortment of bandaids over both slightly older scars that hadn’t healed over fully yet, and the newer ones that were agitated by the sudden friction. some of the bandaids had drawings of cats on them, and the others were black with colourful stars. “once i tried to hug a cat and it was not so accepting of my love... and i hurt my fingers sometimes when i was younger, because i was playing guitar for hours on end...” she said distractedly, as she balled up all the bandaid wrappers and threw them toward the bin. “nice! 10 points!” she looked back to nagito, and smoothed out the bandaids. “nagito-chan, you feelin’ okay?”  
“...yes.” he wouldn’t want to bother someone with talent more than necessary, but it was a sincere answer.  
“great! i was gonna make you come up on stage and play with me... but just for today, i’ll perform for you!” ibuki went over to the side of the stage to set up the lights. he stayed sitting on the floor, turning his body to face the stage.

the quiet hum of radio feedback echoed around the concert space as mioda plugged in her electric guitar to the speaker she moved there earlier. “alright! we have a crowd of... one, and today we’ll be playing an extra quiet rendition of ‘i see writing on the wall behind me when i close the medicine cabinet!’ get ready to make a moderate amount of noise!” she half yelled, half spoke into the unplugged microphone that was standing on stage.  
heavy rock wasn’t really his style, but when it wasn’t turned up loud enough to rupture an eardrum, mioda’s music was nice. it wasn’t exactly what he’d call ‘extra quiet’, but she had clearly put a lot of effort into this whole idea.  
““i love you” is written, but who’s blood is this? i thought i lived aloooone!” mioda used her foot to turn down the volume of the speaker as she violently played the ending of the song. “woo!”  
nagito gave a small applause as mioda jumped up and down on stage. she placed the guitar on top of the speaker, as she grabbed the microphone stand. “so? what’d you think?”  
“it was good, mioda-san... i enjoyed it.”  
“yeah? it... it wasn’t too loud?” she let go of the microphone stand, and started walking down the side of the stage. “my opinion shouldn’t matter to a super high school level like you, as i’m just gar-“ he felt himself spiralling back into self loathing, but he was quickly interrupted by ibuki grabbing his hands and squeezing them. she had squatted down to match nagito’s height.  
“hey hey hey hey hey! stop that! you’re not garbage, you’re ibuki’s friend!” she smiled.  
“...friend?”  
“friend! now...” she jumped back to a standing position, pulling him up with her. “let’s go get some food! even extra quiet performances take a lot of energy!” mioda let go of his hands to grab his jacket that was still on the bar, before going back and grabbing his right arm, pulling him out the door 

ibuki mioda, super high school level light music club member; incredibly talented musician, with tons of hit singles, one of which sold over a million copies. a symbol of hope.  
mioda-san; loud, obnoxious, “unique” music, helpful, kind hearted... a friend.


	3. with tsumiki, a wordless yet mutual agreement to not talk about it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “and i-i don’t think it’s such a good phrase, anyway... different things work for different people. adapting to new situations, or dealing with pain is a tricky thing, and there’s not one thing that’s going to work for everyone.”

*knock, knock.*  
nagito knocked gently on the door to tsumiki’s cabin. yesterday while they were eating, mioda said something about getting bandages from tsumiki in case he hurt himself again. while she was probably talking about luck related injuries, it was a good idea in any case. after some noise from inside, the door was opened by a disheveled looking mikan.  
“h-h-hello!! u-um, komaeda-san, do you need anything..? ah! o-of course you need something, i-i’m sorry! f-f-f-forgive me!” tsumiki stumbled through her words.  
“tsumiki-san, are you okay? you seem... on edge.”  
“w-well, s-s-s-someone knocked on my door earlier, b-but they just left a note...” tsumiki grabbed a note that was on a table and handed it to nagito. he read the written message aloud,  
“wow, you can actually read... great job, pigbarf... signed, hiyoko. that’s not nice of her...” he folded up the note so the message wasn’t visible, before handing it back to tsumiki. “honestly, why does she do these things to you? i mean, i’m worse than you in every regard.” he sighed.  
“a-ah, that’s not true! i really am awful... and i think i remember hiyoko saying something like “komaeda is no fun to bully! he just agrees with every insult!””  
“hm... that is true. should i try and improve on that?”  
“...heeheehee-eek!” tsumiki started to laugh before stopping herself. “sorry! i’m so sorry! you... just agreed with the insult about agreeing with insults...”  
“ah- ...ahahaha!” after seeing komaeda laugh, and talking for a bit, tsumiki seemed more comfortable.  
“u-um... would you still like to come inside?” she took a few hopeful steps backward, leaving room for nagito to walk inside, which he did.

tsumiki’s cottage looked less like a bedroom, and more like a doctor’s office with a bed in it, and it smelled of rubbing alchohol. as to be expected from the super high school level nurse...  
“s-s-so... what did you need? you... you did need something, right?” she nervously fidgeted with her hands.  
"i wanted to ask about treating wounds."  
"ah! are you hurt? do you need me to help you?" tsumiki seemed rather excited at the concept of helping him... too excited, perhaps. komaeda was still apprehensive at the thought of showing her his wounds. "i-if you're hurt, please let me help! i wouldn't want you getting an infection or anything..." at this point, it would really be more suspicious if he refused.  
"...alright.” he reluctantly took off his jacket, and held out his left arm. nothing about this meant much, anymore, but there was an implicit shame to this sort of thing. the feeling was softened, slightly, by the bandaids. tsumiki gently grabbed his arm to look at it.  
“mmm... s-sorry for the inconvenience, but could you please go to the bathroom and run warm water over your arm?” she looked over to the bathroom. he walked over and turned on the tap on to warm water. as he expected, the bathroom was practically identical to his own. he moved his arm under the warm water. it made sense... as much as tsumiki seemed to be the type who would be completely disorganised, being in a medical profession took a lot of work. and being in a cluttered space just lead to more accidents, which was true for both of them. suddenly, the water stopped running. ah. well, that was actually somewhat comforting... nothing would go too wrong, in theory. he turned the tap off anyway, and walked out of the bathroom. 

“c-could you sit down?” mikan motioned over to the medical chair in her room.  
“could i just sit on the bed..?”  
“a-ah, of course!” nagito sat down on her bed, and tsumiki sat down next to him and lifted his arm again, slowly removing the bandaids.  
“isn’t the phrase “rip the bandaid off?” haha...”  
“w-well, yes, but if the wound is fine, it’s effectively painless to just... well...” she continued removing the wet bandaids, putting them into the bin. “and i-i don’t think it’s such a good phrase, anyway... different things work for different people.” she was incredibly efficient, especially for how painless it was. “adapting to new situations, or dealing with pain is a tricky thing, and there’s not one thing that’s going to work for everyone...” eventually all of the bandaids were removed. “wh-where did... you get those bandaids? they’re really cute...” she seemed to have decided what question she was asking halfway through the sentence. she was a nurse, but she also seemed to be very well versed in identifying injuries... no use in asking a question you already knew the answer to... ah, the bandaids, right.  
“...they’re from mioda-san...” nagito answered, which seemed to worry tsumiki.  
“oh no... i’m going to talk to her later... ah! i’ve been talking so much, i’m so so sorry!” she had stopped concentrating on working for long enough to realise.  
“it’s fine, truly. you would be surprised how boring i am.” nagito laughed, sadly.  
“n-no! you’re definitely better than me, i’m really just awful!” tsumiki insisted, as she stood up and walked over to the other side of the room, going to look through her medical supplies.  
“ah, i don’t think that’s possible... you’re someone with talent, after all.”  
“i’m really not that special...” she moved some things, the sound of glass hitting glass filled the room.

tsumiki seemed to find what she was looking for, and grabbed some things. she carefully walked back to where nagito was sitting.  
“here’s some bandages, a-and some antibiotic cream, in case you get hurt again... oh, i should probably...” she leaned forward, his arm and wrapped bandages around it. “th-there. you know about changing bandages and things..?” she asked, making it a question at the last second.  
“yes, i get injured occasionally because of my luck...”  
“mh, i fall down a lot, but i-i never hurt myself, i just... ah, it’s s-so embarrassing!” tsumiki covered her face with her hands. “th-the only times i get hurt are when other people hurt me... but that doesn’t matter, since i can treat my own injuries... but you need me to help you... so a-are you okay now?” she moved her hands away from her face as she spoke, and back to their usual position, clasped together in front of her chest.  
“yes, i’m alright.”  
“are you sure? you look pale... i-i mean, you’re more pale than usual. have you been eating and sleeping?”  
“ah... i suppose i’m not sleeping enough.”  
“sleep issues or staying awake too late?”  
“both, but the sleep issues aren’t anything new... hah.” nightmares and staying up thinking about someone surely weren’t good for his sleep, no wonder tsumiki noticed.  
“y-you really should be trying to get enough sleep, it’s very important for your health... ah! i-i just completely overstepped my bounds! you just came here for bandages and i just- ah- i’m so sorry!!!”  
“it’s alright.”  
“b-b-but... do you want me to do anything for you? buy you something? do you want to draw on me? i’m very good for drawing on!”  
“the help you’ve given is already enough, tsumiki-san.“  
“r-really? are you sure you don’t hate me?”  
“your medical knowledge is incredibly helpful, and i also appreciate you as a pers... as a _friend_.”  
“friend... okay then..! u-um, you should see me if you get an injury on any of your joints or if it’s really bad... i-if you just want to talk to me, i’ll... i’ll also be here. waiting.”

mikan tsumiki, super high school level nurse; super talented at medical care for her age, can treat almost any injury.  
tsumiki-san; caring, quiet, constantly apologising, crybaby. trying her best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know,,, i know i used ibuki's correct title,,, and i know she's the medical committee member,,,, but,,,, a  
> anyway nagito-mikan friendship is my lifeblood  
> Can You Tell I’m Projecting?  
> also the other chapters will have less of this i swear i just,,, boy needs to not be dying, you know?? by that i mean the medical stuff not the gay  
> these fics are produced by two of my three braincells bumping into each other, one of which loves komaeda and the other loves komahina so just take what you can get from me, honestly
> 
> pleas leave those good compliments,,, i consume them for power  
> (leaving comments will make me more motivated to write!)


	4. with nevermind, finding the point in literal self victimising

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “it’s fine, really... i’m used to it. i just appreciate having some actually listen to me, despite your intent.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just pals.. talking about murder....  
> sonia deserved better in game, and that’s the truth  
> also the translation stuff with her name is weird so sorry if i got it wrong!! aaa

breakfast had arrived once again, and nagito was spending it as usual. it was a wonder he had never choked on his food, or perhaps it was just lucky. he had considered actually talking to the other boy, but... nagito had stopped eating at that point, just watching hinata as he talked to nanami, who was sitting beside him. it must mean something that this was the only time he saw hinata, right? avoiding was a strong word, but... no, it’s better this way. his luck always ruined these things, and- nanami was looking at him. oh no. he looked back down at his plate and started eating again. how long had she been looking? ugh. he looked around at some other people at the table to make it look like he wasn’t just staring at one person. as he looked over at sonia, she stood up from the table and started walking towards him.  
“ah? hello, sonia-san.”  
“komaeda-san! meet me at my cottage in 28 minutes!” she said, walking back to where she was sitting before he could question it. that was odd. now, if sonia _was_ going to kill him, he would have to talk to her about it... but then again, your own room was such an obvious aim to pin it on you, that maybe... she probably wasn’t going to kill him. unfortunately.

the odd time had thrown him off slightly, so he had ended up at her cottage around 10 minutes early. he also didn’t have much else to do... well, anything, really.  
*knock, knock.*  
he knocked on the door to sonia’s cottage, and it was instantly swung open by an excited looking sonia.  
“komaeda-san! you’re a little late, but it’s fine. come inside!”  
“late?” he asked, as she made room for him to walk inside her cottage.  
“ah, in novoselic culture it is customary to show up 13 minutes prior to the arranged meeting time... is it not this way in other places? and i even chose the time to make it easier just in case...” that explains the meeting time... “but i wanted to talk to you!”  
“what about?”  
“well... about you!” sonia sat down on the edge of the bed, bringing her knees up onto it.  
“ah? i’m quite uninteresting, i promise...” nagito walked over and slowly sat down on the bed, leaving his feet on the floor. other topics for conversation... nothing much has happened lately. was there anything he knew sonia liked? “sonia-san, you’re interested in serial killers, right?” she looked surprised at the choice of topic.  
“well... um...”  
“... did you want to talk about me because of my opinions on death?”  
“well! i... i apologise, i just... i’ve never been able to speak to someone like you!” sonia instantly bounced back from her embarrassment, launching into talking about killers. “someone who is so insistent in their convictions, even though the rest of the world disagrees, that they take justice into their own hands! people with such twisted mindsets... it’s terribly interesting, don’t you think?” she said, apparently completely oblivious to the fact she was saying these things to someone she was describing with these terms. “of course, my dream would be to meet someone famous... but that’s rather unrealistic, i suppose. so... do you like serial killers, komaeda?”  
“i’m mostly interested in murder files.”  
“ah, those are also rather interesting! the unsolved ones are always so strange...” hearing the super high school level princess talk so excitedly about murder was quite a juxtaposition... “so if you were to kill someone, how would you do it?” sonia asked.

“well, that depends in what context.”  
“let’s say you have infinite time and resources to set up a murder that nobody can solve.” an unsolvable murder, huh? that was probably the one he spent the most time thinking about, as it was both interesting and applicable to real life.  
“alright... i’d say the easiest way to make an unsolvable murder is to make it so nobody, not even the killer, knows who the killer is.”  
“huh? how would you do something like that?”  
“well, let’s say... two blindfolded people are standing in a room, and they’re holding guns aimed to shoot at a third person. one gun is filled with blanks, the other has real bullets. if they fire at the same time, neither of them knows who the killer is.”  
“oh! that’s an interesting idea!”  
“of course, the real killer in the scenario is the one forcing them to do that, even if they weren’t either of the ones holding the gun, and in a real life scenario bullet trajectory could be used to easily figure it out... but that’s the basic idea, anyway.”  
“that’s rather smart... the only thing i could think of was killing someone in such an open space that anyone could have done it, like the work of famous serial killers!”  
“ah, sometimes simple things work best, though. after all, there’s many serial killers who remain uncaught, but i still can’t figure out an exact way my idea would work in real life...”  
“if your idea bases on nobody knowing who the killer is, you would have to be the victim, correct? since i assume the point of the example is that even in a perfect crime, you can be caught in interrogation, but if the killer doesn’t know who they are, it’s an unsolvable crime... so in a true example, there isn’t that much point.” no point?  
“no, that’s... my role in life is to be a stepping stone for hope, and if i have to kill or die to achieve that, i am more than willing. in fact, my continued existence is simply until i am able to die while bringing as much hope as possible, so if it would cause hope, i’d truly love to die in such a scenario!” ...he was talking to someone, right. as he looked over to sonia, her eyes were sparkling with excitement. “...ah, did i say something weird..?”  
“no, no! it’s just....”  
“it’s fine, really... i’m used to it. i just appreciate having some actually listen to me, despite your intent.”

*clik clik kbang!*  
the sound of the door opening and slamming against the wall.  
“nagito-chan!” a voice rang out as mioda stumbled into the room. “iheardyoutalkingtosoniaatbreakfastand—“ she started, before pausing to catch her breath. “...and i wanted to make sure you weren’t letting someone murder you!”  
“a-ah...” mioda’s talent was truly impressive if it let her hear that over everything happening at breakfast.  
“not that ibuki thinks you’d murder anyone, sonia-chan! but nagito-chan is very insistent on being murdered!” mioda finished talking and walked over to stand in front of the bed.  
“...we’ve just been talking, mioda-san...”  
“that’s good!” she sat down on the bed and bounced up and down on it slightly, moving her legs up to sit cross legged. “what were you talking about?” she asked, and before he could answer, sonia started talking.  
“we were discussing how we would create an unsolvable murder!”  
“hmmm...” ibuki leaned back on the bed slightly to look at sonia.  
“in a purely hypothetical situation, of course.” nagito attempted to backpedal from what sonia had said.  
“huh? it... did not sound especially hypothetical at the end.” sonia started again.  
“nagito-chaaaan!” mioda leaned back further, falling onto the bed. “no dying!”  
“ah...” he wanted to argue back, to inform her his life was meaningless, but... no, there was no point in saying that to mioda. she was insistent on her position, and he had very little chance at convincing her in the current situation. “...apologies.”  
“sonia-chan, did he insult himself or call himself ugly, or anything like that?”  
“mioda-san, i... while i am not pleasant to look at, i have never insulted my appearance in front of you.”  
“heeeey! you’re very pleasant to look at!” mioda complained, stretching out her arms and legs.  
“yes! you are enjoyable to engage in conversation with, and...” sonia paused for a second, looking closer at him. “you look rather like a princess!” she smiled, leaning back again.  
“ah?” that was... an unusual compliment. well, all compliments directed at him were unusual, as he deserved nothing like that. “i don’t... hm... i’ve never...”  
“nobody’s called you pretty before?? maaan!” mioda huffed, annoyed at... someone. “a-ny-ways, sonia-chan, now you need to ask him to be friends with you!”  
“mioda, i... asked tsumiki-san to be friends.” in truth, he was just rephrasing and repeating what mioda had said to him, but the sentiment still meant something.  
“you did?? i’m so proud of you!” mioda bounced up again, and pulled nagito into a hug. it was weird... he couldn’t remember the last time someone had... “ibuki’s going to go talk to mikan-chan now!” she jumped off the bed, and practically ran out the door. “see you later!”  
“ah.”  
“where were we?”  
“i...”  
“oh yes. um... if i upset you or anything, you shouldn’t feel pressured to talk about it, but... i would like you to know that i understand what you mean.” sonia shifted her position slightly, her face shifting to a more serious, solemn one. “if i were to die, i would want it to be for the sake of my kingdom. so i do... understand. and i also understand it can be hard to talk about.” she paused for a second, looking down at the bed, before looking up at him again, smiling. “and if you would like, i want to talk to you again. not as a fan girl, but a friend.”

sonia nevermind, super high school level princess; the beautiful and capable princess of novoselic, incredibly talented in many things. a symbol of hope.  
sonia-san; pretty, easily excited, incredibly interested in the occult and murder. a good listener, sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when i started writing this i was like “this’ll be a quick thing because haha murder” but they actually have a lot in common so? also there’s some good meta commentary in this chapter,,, (looks at nagito’s and sonia’s sprites)


	5. outside, some people were born and then everything went downhill from there

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “i guess i can relate to your shitty luck... but it’s all just people doing it to me. all because i’m the saionji heiress... bullshit. i didn’t ask for this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if i’m being real i wrote this whole thing literally halfway through writing chapter 3 because my brain is stupid like that but now it’s bad and i don’t want to read it but also i don’t have the energy to re-write it so AAA
> 
> just take it so i can write the other chapters and they’ll be good  
> hiyoko is probably out of character but she calls kazuichi a simp so like

nagito sat on the edge of the raised wooden area the cottages were on, just in front of his own cottage. letting his legs hang over, his feet almost touching the water, he wondered idly how long he had been sitting there. thirty minutes, at least. the sound of moving water and idle chat nearby were almost enough to distract him from his own thoughts. he heard muffled voices nearby. one was likely male, the other female. the voices stopped as he heard footsteps.

“uh... hey, komaeda.” looking up, he saw souda and saionji, who both looked like they didn’t want to be here. ah, but who would? talking to him was an unpleasant experience... “so.. uh... how are you?”  
“ugh. i’m being forced to talk to a couple of freaks!” saionji complained.  
“huh?” forced to talk was... a choice of words.  
“saionji!- agh- okay, usami is making us talk to you.” ah.   
“that’s alright, i wasn’t expecting much else, after all. nobody would want to waste their time talking to scum like me!”  
“yeesh, way to lighten the mood. stupid hope bullshit.” saionji sighed, as she sat down near nagito. he reeled slightly from hearing her say that. for a super high school level, she was rather unpleasant. souda then sat down next to saionji.  
“saionji-san, as a symbol of hope, you shouldn’t say those things.”  
“haaah? what are you gonna do about it, you piece of trash?” saionji put on her usual dead eyed stare.  
“nothing. if despair is killed just as it starts, that barely brings any hope.”

“... simp boy, can you sit next to him instead? he’s scaring me.”  
“what? no! he’s gonna stab me or something!”  
“do i really come off like that..?” komaeda laughed awkwardly.  
“uh... kinda. man, and i was planning on hanging out with hinata today...”  
hinata? “hinata-kun?” why did he... no. komaeda was the one who shouldn’t be talking to hinata. souda had talent. souda wasn’t worthless.  
“yeah, i wanted to talk to him about something, but i guess that plan’s out the window.”  
ah, what if hinata was forced to talk to him? he’d just be wasting hinata’s time, but the thought still made him happy... how disgustingly selfish he was.  
“what? i thought you’d be talking to “sonia-san...” or are you gay now?”  
“we’re just bros! and sonia-s... sonia is spending all her time with tanaka.”  
“huh? i talked to her yesterday.”  
“haha! looks like she’s just avoiding you!”  
“gh...”  
“well, not like i can blame her, nobody would want to talk to such a badly dressed, annoying freak like you.”  
“...saionji-san, why are you so rude?”  
“wow, shit-for-brains, how the hell do you want me to answer that?”  
“if you’re uncomfortable with the question, you-“  
“no? i just... that’s like if i asked you why you’re so insane.”

“my luck.”  
“... you weren’t supposed to answer, dumbass.”  
“i wasn’t? i’m sorry...”  
“i- god you’re a pain. luck is a good thing, right?”  
“not exactly... see, when i was younger, i was on a plane with my parents... there was a hijacker on the plane! bad luck, right?”  
“yeah?”  
“but then, the plane was hit by a meteor, and the hijacker was killed... but it also killed my parents.” the story had no impact anymore. just words he had said hundreds of times.  
“mh.. wish my family was dead.” she looked down at her feet.  
“saionji-san?”  
“what the hell, saionji? i mean, my dad sucked but... that’s just dads, y’know?”  
“i... dad was good. he would always come to my performances... he cared about me.”  
“huh... i’m gonna have to re-think how i view my dad.”  
“it’s my family that sucks.” saionji continued, completely ignoring souda. “i guess i can relate to your shitty luck... but it’s all just people doing it to me. all because i’m the saionji heiress... bullshit. i didn’t ask for this.” she moved her feet up onto the ledge, wrapping her arms around her legs and hiding her face. “i was treated like a princess... in both ways.” after staying like that for only a moment, she quickly stood up. “there’s your answer, freak. if either of you say a thing about this, you’re dead.” she said with complete seriousness, before walking away. the threat didn’t faze him, but he was going to respect saionji’s privacy, of course.

“you... uh...” souda tried to start a conversation before he realised there was quite a lot of space between them after saionji left. he moved... a little closer. “did you really talk to sonia?” he scooted over until he was sitting about where saionji was sitting before. “what did you talk about?”  
“yes... we talked about how we would commit murder without being caught.”  
“...oh.” he seemed incredibly dejected by the answer. “you ever have a crush on someone, but then they’re... not like you thought? that’s...”  
“hm... i get what you mean, i guess. but right now... everything they do is amazing.” ah. he didn’t mean to say that one out loud.  
“woah... you have a crush?”  
“why did you ask if you think i didn’t have a crush..?”  
“well, i meant like... ever. but you have a crush on someone here!”  
“i... hah.” well, he was right.  
“who is it?... is it sonia-san?”  
“... no.”  
“well... that’s okay then. but seriously, who is it? i’ll tell you who i have a crush on...”  
“i’m aware of who you’re interested in, souda-kun.”  
“... yeah, i should have expected that. okay, it’s getting late, so i need to go. but i’m gonna find out!”  
“ah, are you going to torture me?”  
“wh... talking to you is so hard...”  
“i understand, someone talented like you can only spend so long talking to trash like me.”  
“stop doing that! and literally everything else you say, it’s weird! i’m incredibly surprised you have a crush, and i’m going to find out who it is! but not through torture!” souda said, getting increasingly loud as he walked further away.

hiyoko saionji, super high school level traditional dancer; gathered a large (surprising female) fan base by being so talented at such a young age. a symbol of hope  
saionji-san; bratty, rude, selfish, lonely. 

kazuichi souda... annoying.


	6. with kuzuryuu, trust me, we both want me to stop talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ”i just... had a friend, and she... she acts like that sometimes. it pisses me the hell off that she won’t treat herself like a human, and i took that out on you, so... fuck. sorry, i guess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: i’m gonna try and write nagito as close to canon as i can  
> also me: *projects my interest in greek mythology onto komaeda* *projects my abuse and anxiety onto komaeda* *pr  
> anyway that’s what happens in this chapter (and the whole fic,,, ahaha)  
> it’s shorter than fuyuhiko himself, i know, but next one should be up pretty soon so?? i wanted souda to actually get his own time  
> also expect the total chapter count to change as i try and figure out what the hell i’m doing with this story haha oops can you tell this is the first long form thing i’ve ever written (also the first nagito pov thing i’ve ever written, basically it’s just bad lmao)  
> (i sound like a bitch saying haha i like greek mythology and then talking about _icarus_ but i’m just,,, i’m thinking about him u know? like stay in the tower if u ain’t gonna follow the total 2 rules u were given my man,,, idiot boy,)

another day, another breakfast. this one seemed to pass far too quick and yet painfully slow, as nagito was making an active effort to not look at hinata. how many times had nanami seen him staring? if being around hinata really gave him such tunnel vision, combined with his luck... it was only a recipe for disaster. but he would surely fly too close to the sun anyway. ah... what a way to go, a kiss from the sun that leaves you wanting more, only for your wings to melt and fall apart, sending you tumbling back to earth waiting for the icy salt water to swallow you whole, and nanami was looking at him because he was looking at hinata. ah. nagito’s eyes snapped back to his plate as he resumed silently waiting for the sun to leave the room.

here he was, with his fake talent of wax and feathers, in a room full of angels.  
that was... bordering on a malaphor, but whatever. he wasn’t writing prose, he was just pining. eventually hinata made his way out of the restaurant, and nagito stood up as soon as he was out of eyeshot. his luck was less of fighting a balance between hubris and complacency, anyway, and more of an inevitable that he’d fall into the ocean, but one could say the same of giving a teenage boy the power of flight. as he went downstairs into the hotel, his eyes met kuzuryuu’s, who was leaning on one of the arcade games, apparently waiting for him.  
“...hey komaeda? how are you?” he made a slight wave, signalling nagito to walk over to him.  
“ah, hello kuzuryuu-kun! did usami force you to talk to me?” he responded, leaving kuzuryuu a little taken aback.  
“what? i mean... i wouldn’t say forced, but yeah. how the fuck did you know?”  
“souda-kun and saionji-san were put up to the same task earlier, and they weren’t exactly subtle about it... your act of pretending you wanted to see me was far more commendable.”  
“fuck, alright... it’s not like i don’t want to talk to you, usami just _suggested_ that i should, since you weren’t really doing it yourself...”  
“it’s alright, you don’t need to worry about hurting my feelings. i’m sure you want me out of your sight as soon as possible, so-“  
“chill the fuck out. there’s like, at least 3 other people on this island i would rather talk to you instead of.” kuzuryuu closed his eyes, letting out an annoyed sigh.  
“but... the only other people on this island are symbols of hope, right? you couldn’t possibly be saying you’d rather talk to a stepping stone like me! to think my only purpose is to bring hope and yet my mere existence is wasting the precious time of those with talent... ahah...” he felt his grip on control of what he was saying begin to slip which was awful because he was not only wasting someone’s time but also surely about to say something awful, but before he really said anything, kuzuryuu opened his eyes, fists clenched, and interjected with a  
“shut the FUCK up!”  
“. . .”

and he did. uncomfortable silence filled the air for a while, komaeda standing perfectly still, kuzuryuu leaning back onto the arcade machine staring awkwardly at the floor.  
“that... was too much, sorry. i just... had a friend, and she... she acts like that sometimes. it pisses me the hell off that she won’t treat herself like a human, and i took that out on you, so... fuck. sorry, i guess.” komaeda took that as permission to speak, and tried to will himself back into moving so he could respond.  
“it’s alright,” he started, then bit his tongue until he could think of an end to the sentence that wasn’t self deprecating or dehumanising. “...i... understand.”  
“she goes on about being a tool or some shit, but i... i wish she’d see that she has value as a person. i swear she’s gonna get herself killed for my sake cause she thinks i won’t care, or some fucking bullshit like that.”  
“it sounds like she means a lot to you... it must be awful to be unable to see her, huh?”  
“...what? oh. yeah.” he looked away for a moment. “...she’ll probably be fine on her own.”  
“i’m afraid i cannot empathise on that regard, but we’ll be home eventually.” and nothing exceptionally hopeful or despairing will happen, and this will all be an utter disappointment... ah, but that’s rather pessimistic. sometimes nothing is better than anything...  
“what? you mean you’ve got nobody who’s important to you?”  
“currently, yes, i live only to serve hope.”  
“...okay, you’ve gotta fuckin’ stop that or i’ll actually get mad at you.” he says, getting up from where he was leaning, and putting his hands in his pockets. “so... was this enough talking?”  
“i wouldn’t want to take up any more time-“ he started, before getting stopped by a death glare. “uh... that felt like it should be enough of a conversation.”  
“good.” kuzuryuu starts walking towards the hotel exit. “see you later, komaeda.” after he left, nagito was left in silence for only a moment before he heard footsteps from the stairs leading into the hotel lobby.  
“komaeda!”  
oh, right.

kuzuryuu-kun came across exactly how you’d expect super high school level yakuza, fuyuhiko kuzuryuu to act. tough, rude, dangerous... but there was someone he cared about, and who cared about him.


	7. uhhh tldr i’m bored and bad at writing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TwT

hello!!! so as u may have noticed i said i was gonna update and i super didn’t! that was cool of me :) sorry :(  
as i’ve mentioned about 50 times i don’t have a lot of experience writing fanfiction! and i’m having some difficulties!! but i still have most of the plot planned out so!  
(sorry for using so many exclamation marks i’m nervous!!!)  
basically if i keep trying to finish this chapter i’m never gonna finish this story so i was gonna like get everything as finished as i can and then just,,, post em  
the important bits will be there and it’ll make sense and maybe i’ll come back n finish it later but basically i’m lazee n i want to do something else :) i guess it’s better than just leaving this fic half finished for the rest of time and constantly feeling bad about it :,)

thanks for ur understanding or if you don’t like it? that’s fair i get it


	8. rest of the fic oops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> awawawa here’s everything i had in my notes basically! don’t wanna write when i don’t want to and i don’t feel like i’m ever gonna want to so this is just what i already had written orz

//i'll probably end up posting a much earlier draft of this so i guess i'll explain some shit  
so i can't write this chapter the way i want to because i'm bad at writing kaz and also i can't! handle any serious topics oops! you can tell because the self harm stuff is very clumsy and it's just because i was struggling with it at the time of writing it  
this is a very comfort character copey fic  
uhhhhhhhh h h h h basically i'm too gay? to? write this chapter correctly?  
anyway get reading for Reading Whiplash™ (to be read in the same tone as reading rainbow)

with souda - crush is a weird word

when did this happen?

//i love that about souda's free time events  
he's just dumb internalized homophobia boy and he is very good

"c'mon man! you can tell me!"

//anyway i just this is bad but i’m just gonna drop the rest of my unfinished writing bits on you cause i’m never gonna want to do this  
"why does it matter? you're only interested in the case i'm a "romantic competitor", right? i can _assure_ you i am not."

//i still have like, an ending i guess. or like more chapters. for this.

"hey! i care about these things! maybe i can be a wingman?? besides.."

hinata was just… hinata was… what? what was it about him? there was something, everything, and nothing. like some shining light of hope just beneath the surface and yet... nothing. someone average, boring, and useless like him. 

//if i was reading a below average komahina fic i would prefer a shitty ending to no ending i guess also i'm listening to my komahina playlist as i write this and i, :)

hajime hinata, super high school level...  
"now that you've told me you have one, i just really want to know."  
hm.

//oh god i just realised i'm gonna have to write nekomaru's dialogue in all lowercase how am i gonna make that work

"this is like… guy stuff, right?" souda asked, as much more of an actual question then that sort of thing usually was. //poor boy// "so just tell me about her!"  
"mh..."  
"...him?"  
that was not what that noise was about but since he had brought it up it would probably be easier to get it cleared up now. "..."  
"oh. oh! sorry dude! i mean i… just… uh… wait, it's not me, is it?" // because you KNOW he would. you know.// "cause like… if it is. like. i mean you're _attractive_ but… uh…… a-anyways!" //homosexual supporting cast  
"it's not-"  
"right! okay. good. cool. so who is it?"  
//can't believe everyone in danganronpa is gay  
anyway i didn't have. a continuation point after here. kazuichi souda gives up that is all.  
sometimes i feel like i'm too stupid and dumb to write komaeda's dialouge correctly at aaaallllllllll

next chapter would have been  
with koizumi - fake smiles make bad photos  
//and i don't… think i had a transition point here? i feel the last chapter ended with nighttime and this was just like a jumpcut to midday. this part wasn't that bad tho actually  
maybe i did have something and i forgot? oh well

"komaeda! say cheese!"  
"huh?" before he had time to process that a conversation had started the *click!* of a camera rang out. koizumi had apparently walked up to him while he was lost in thought and taken a picture of him.  
"you're… supposed to say cheese."  
"sorry."  
koizumi huffed as she lifted the camera back up to her face again. "just… smile, okay?" she waits a second then lowers the camera slightly. "you're doing it wrong."  
"what? how am i smiling wrong?"  
instead of a verbal answer, koizumi pulled out two photographs. they were both almost candid shots of people smiling, likely taken a couple days ago. the only difference, from what he could tell, was that one was of a shining symbol of hope and the other was not.  
“see how nanami-san’s smiling in this picture? how she actually looks happy? every photo of you when i ask you to smile it looks like you’re being held at gunpoint! you’re almost as bad as pekoyama-san…”  
/“forgive me, koizumi-san, i-“  
/“stop, stop, stop. i don’t want to hear it. you’re a boy, so you need to…” koizumi trailed off, looking like she was considering something. she started again in a much less harsh tone of voice. “just… try and think of something that makes you actually smile, alright? like… do you have any happy childhood memories?”  
//writing this chapter is weird because i feel like there was more stuff but the part right here is solid and like… whatever  
“ah…” //guess who doesn’t have any happy childhood memories// /any childhood memories were completely foggy or so vivid there was still an acrid taste at the back of his mouth when he thought about it.  
“there must be something. friends? family? pets?”  
//and then this part would just be. dog. he love dog :) and i also love dog  
have u seen that dog? it’s a great dog  
*click!*  
“perfect!”  
/again there’s just sorta exactly this part with no start or dismount at all

// why did i think it would be a good idea to write a multi chapter fic  
it’s such a bad idea  
with nanami - lucky

video games... his luck cycle would often play out in it’s entirety inside of the game itself, leading him to win most of the time. this was relevant because nanami had just asked  
“hey hey, you should come over to my cottage and play video games with me... if you want.”  
“ah, are you sure you want to hang out with garbage like me..?”  
“...yes.”  
the conversation had ended abruptly, as she had started walking away, leaving nagito to follow her. she opened the door to her cottage, walking inside and sitting down cross legged on the floor, facing a small television with several game consoles hooked up to it.  
“nanami-san, why did you ask me? you surely could have asked anyone else...” nagito stood in the doorway for a moment, before nanami patted on the ground next to her, indicating he should sit there. he walked inside and sat on the floor, watching nanami turn everything on  
“i wanted to ask how things have been going.” she said, waiting for the older game system to boot up.  
“... what do you mean?”  
“. . . the school trip.” it was hard to tell if she was considering her word choice or just distracted by the start up screen of the game. it appeared to be one of those 2d platform fighting games //its smash bros it’s just it’s sm// she picked up two controllers and handed one of them over to nagito. right. these past few weeks had been so disassociative and unreal he had forgot it was supposed to be a “school trip.”

“hinata-kun”  
“huh?”  
“you stare at him a lot but you never seem to talk to him.”  
“ah….. you noticed?”  
“mm.”  
//they talk and nagito has A moment  
and chiaki is like  
“togami-kun is hosting a party tomorrow, you should come join.”

“hinata-kun will probably be there. it’d better to talk to him sooner rather than later… i think.”

beach, party, hinata - bla bla part 2 fuck you

grabbing the multi-tool out of his pocket, he flicked open one of the other tools, some sort of cork opener, to watch the sunset light shine off the pristine, unused metal.  
“maybe... i should throw this into the ocean...” he murmured in a low tone to nobody except himself. “but what if i need it..?” looking through the rest of the tools, there were mostly things like screwdrivers and other things you’d use if you were dismantling something mechanical. nothing exceptionally useful... for him, anyway. “i can always get another from the store.” he decided, getting ready to throw it and wondering if it would skip across the water or just sink to the bottom, but he stopped as he heard the crunching sound of someone walking across the sand. he quickly shoved the tool back into his pocket and tried to act like he was watching the sunset instead of talking to himself while holding a weapon.  
“komaeda?” he heard owari’s voice behind him. turning around, he saw her walking up from behind the beach house. “komaeda, there you are!” she turned around and shouted behind her, “nidai! he’s over here!” before turning back and running up.  
“hello, owari-san.” nagito greeted her as she made her way to the edge of the beach where he was standing.  
“we were lookin’ for you, dude! the party’s about to start and nobody could find you!” she complained.  
“is that right? my apologies, it wasn’t my intent to go missing.”  
“it’s totally cool!” her expression quickly shifted back into a smile. “i can see why you were out here, real pretty sunset. great place for a fight...” her sentence drifted off as she looked him up and down. “...nah, too scrawny. you should eat more!”  
“...sorry?”  
“KOMAEDA!” nidai’s booming voice was quickly followed by nidai himself, as he ran up to where nagito and akane were talking. “i hope you weren’t planning on skipping the party!”  
“ah, no, i must have just lost track of time.”

that’s it gomenasai  
if u wanted to know what happens after that it’s basically just the party and then it’s too loud so nagito freaks and runs off to the bathroom to do bad things with sharp objects but ibuki knocks on the door like “are you good” and he isn’t  
so he goes to the. beach. and then chiaki makes hajime go to the beach. and then they talk. and then :)

**Author's Note:**

> pleas leave those good compliments,,, i consume them for power  
> (leaving comments will make me more motivated to write!)


End file.
